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The Reality VS. the Expectation of Getting a (great) Caregiver: The Care Giving Conundrum

This is the first in a series of posts that will define the reality of care giving vs the expectations most families have as they enter the care giving journey. We will also offer tips on how to make that journey successful.

Part One: The Great Care Giving Conundrum.

OK, seems simple enough. Mom or dad finally drops his or her resistance and decides to try a caregiver. All I have to do is call a home care company and tell them to have a caregiver here tomorrow. Well, yes and no. If all you want is a warm body and it does not matter if it is the same body day-to-day, you can likely find a company that can deliver.

The truth is, finding a great caregiver is a process and not a light switch you just flip on.

Understand the Great Care Giving Conundrum.

The conundrum is a simple, yet very unbalanced equation. People in need of assistance usually wait as long as they can before getting it…and, when they do, they want as little help as possible. On the other side of the equation, most caregivers want to work as many hours as they can.

It makes sense…for the person in need, it represents them starting to lose their independence. It also means dipping into the ever-cherished bank account.  I don’t know about you, but neither of those appeals to me very much! Often times, their ask is driven more by family hounding them to get help rather than their perceived need. So, they ask for a little help. Keeps it easy to stomach and affordable.

Back to the caregivers…as a whole, caregivers are largely underpaid (not because home care companies don’t want to pay them well, but the market sets the price).  Plus, they have families to take care of.  They don’t just want lots of hours, they NEED lots of hours to pay the rent and put food on the table.

The Request.

So, when the inevitable request comes in from a  family for two four-hour shifts a week, we normally have to politely explain that the odds of us finding a great caregiver that wants that kind of work is very slim. They (the family) are not at fault for asking…how would they know!? Seems like a reasonable request. The truth is, however, even if we could find a caregiver that agreed to work mini-shifts like that, the likelihood of them sticking around and being reliable is very low. It’s not that they are bad people…they just will leave when an assignment with more hours comes up. Food on the table.

So, they key learning here is as follows:

  • Be aware of the conundrum when you engineer you request to a home care company. Almost all of us got in this business because we love to help people. But we cannot help if we are not set up to succeed
  • Know that should short, infrequent shifts be the “ask,” you might have trouble finding a home care company that will accept your business. If one does , the body they deliver will likely be different shift-to-shift

Next up…the fallacy that no one can care for mom or dad as well as you can.

Happy reading!

Adam

 

 

 

Roswell Rotary Steps Up to Help Older Adults Age Well

Fourteen months ago I honestly did not even know what Rotary was! Now I am a proud member of Roswell Rotary, a group of wonderful people that literally live the Rotary mantra of “service above self.”

A great example of just that took place last week. I serve on the senior committee at Rotary and we orchestrated a senior education session which took place on March 22nd. The event was focused on providing older adults with information on the many resources available to people as they age. There really are a lot and the space continues to grow…think senior move specialists…tech training for seniors, etc. Interestingly, however, many seniors are unaware of what’s out there.

 

So why is this quickly growing business sector largely unknown to many seniors? Simple…no one wants to admit they need help. Losing one’s independence is a very hard “pill” to swallow and engaging senior resources (to many folks) means the beginning of the end. Truth is, a little advance planning can change one’s aging forecast significantly and make the inevitable much more palatable overall. As my good friend and our Care Coordinator #Lynn Ross told me, there are two kinds of planning in the senior space. Advance and crisis. We hope to get as many families as possible to be in the advance category. Advance planning means choices. Crisis planning, not-so-much!

 

We had an all-star cast at the event last week and I was humbled to act as master of ceremonies. The Roswell Rotary Senior committee was great pulling it all together and thanks to the 14 senor care professionals that gave their time to help educate a large group of  older adults. Sectors represented included (but were not limited to):

  • Senior living options
  • Hospice
  • Home care
  • Eldercare law
  • Long term care insurance
  • Community resources and support groups
  • Day-to-day money management
  • Occupational therapy
  • Alternatives to traditional healthcare
  • Senior-focused moving services/downsizing

 

Happy learning!

 

Adam

 

 

How Can You Deal with Constantly Worrying about Your Aging Family Member?

As a family caregiver, it’s not feasible to simply tell yourself not to worry about your senior family member. What you can do, however, is to accept the worry for what it is, let it go, and come up with solutions that will actually help.

 

Elder Care in Decatur GA: Caregiver Worry
Elder Care in Decatur GA: Caregiver Worry

 

 

Examine Your Worries Closely

Most of the time when you are worried about something, you’re more likely to try to ignore the concern and not think about it. But when you tell yourself not to think about something, that becomes one of your most prevalent thoughts. Instead, try taking that worry and really looking at it closely. Figure out what is causing this worry and why it’s such a big concern for you. Don’t let it go for a long time.

 

Stop Berating Yourself for Being Worried

Giving up a big worry is really difficult to do. If you keep telling yourself to stop and that you really shouldn’t be worried, you’re going to feel guilty every time that you run into that worry again. Since you’re trying to resolve this concern, beating yourself up over it is not going to help. Resolve now to accept this worry and that you’re going to find a solution.

 

Find Ways to Let Go of Your Worries

There’s a funny truth about worry. When you look closely at it and stop trying to ignore it, you might find that it resolves on its own. Even if it doesn’t, there are things you can do that will help. The next time that you encounter this worry, remind yourself that a solution is in the works.

 

Do What You Can Now to Eliminate Causes of Worry

Sit down and make a list of what possible solutions can resolve the situation creating your concern. For example, if you’re worried because your senior still lives alone, brainstorm what could potentially make you feel less concerned. This might include having family members stopping by more often, hiring elderly care providers, or talking to your elderly family member about changing her living situation.

Worrying doesn’t do you any good, but you already know that. What it can do is show you where you need to take steps in order to keep your elderly family member as safe as possible.

 

If you or an aging family member are considering elder care in Decatur, GA, please contact the caring staff at Caring Companions of Atlanta 470-514-5954.

 

Coping with Caregiver Challenges

Ask any family caregiver and they’ll probably agree that being a caregiver is one of the most rewarding, but also most challenging, things a person could ever do. On the days when things go well, you’ll go to bed at night feeling great about what you’re doing for your aging family member and being grateful for the time that you get to spend with them. But, the days that don’t go well can leave you feeling like the challenges are just too much. If you find yourself having difficulty coping with some of the common challenges of being a caregiver, here are some tips that we hope will help.

 

Elderly Care in Brookhaven GA: Coping with Caregiver Challenges
Elderly Care in Brookhaven GA: Coping with Caregiver Challenges

 

Use Time Management Skills

Depending on your profession, you probably use time management skills in your work life. Try transferring some of those skills to your caregiver duties, too. Make a “to do” list of items you need to get done. Prioritize them and complete the most pressing ones first. Remind yourself that it’s okay to let the smaller stuff slide and get to it another day. If there are some things you simply cannot find time for, ask for help. Other family members or friends may be able to step in. If there is no one else available to help, consider hiring a home care provider who can come to the older adult’s home and help. You may also find it useful to be upfront with the senior about what you can and cannot do so that you are not expected to do everything.

 

Find Time to Focus on the Positive

One of the most difficult things about being a caregiver can be seeing someone you love suffering. This may be especially true if the person is your parent. You’re used to them taking care of you, not the other way around. If you’re struggling with these feelings, taking some time to step away from the situation can help. Make time to do something positive that makes you feel good. It can help to schedule an activity with your parent that you both enjoy, but asking someone else to step in and be the caregiver that day so that you can just spend quality time.

 

Stay in Touch with Friends

Being a caregiver can take up so much of your time that it’s hard to stay in touch with your friends and other family members. But, now is when you need them the most. Even if you can’t spend as much time with them as you used to, don’t allow yourself to lose touch. Use social media platforms to send quick notes, give updates, and ask about their lives. Make some time now and then to grab a cup of coffee, have lunch, or make a phone call.

Though caregiver duties can be time-consuming and stressful, you can take care of your loved one while also living your own life. Remember that you are only human and can’t be expected to do everything. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or to hire help if needed.

 

If you or an aging family member are considering elderly care in Brookhaven, GA, please contact the caring staff at Caring Companions of Atlanta 470-514-5954.

Sources
http://www.arthritis.org/living-with-arthritis/life-stages/caregiving/caregiving-arthritis.php
https://www.aarp.org/relationships/caregiving-resource-center/info-08-2010/gs_caregiving_challenges.html
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/info-2017/new-caregivers-rules.html

What Can You Do in Order to Balance Your Career and Your Desire to Be a Caregiver?

You might think that you don’t have many choices as a family caregiver who also has to work. In reality, though, the world is becoming more understanding about the fact that aging family members need a caregiver. By exploring the options that are available to you, you might find that you can do far more than you realized to maintain your career and still be an effective caregiver.

 

Home Care Services in Brookhaven GA: Balancing Your Career and Caregiving
Home Care Services in Brookhaven GA: Balancing Your Career and Caregiving

 

Talk to Your Employer about Your Options

Many employers are far more willing to work with you in your quest to be a good caregiver than you might think. Some might work out a telecommuting option or they might be willing to work with you on your time off. They may even have other options that can work for both of you. Until you ask, though, you won’t know what’s possible.

 

Work with Local Agencies for the Elderly

Another source you need to reach out to is an agency in your local area that works with senior citizens. They can help you to find assistance that you and your aging adult need in order to meet her needs. Some of the solutions they can help you find might be enough to allow you to work your regular hours and still care for your elderly family member.

 

Hire Home Care Providers

You might think that hiring home care providers is not something that you should be doing. The thing is, elder care providers are more than just babysitters. They can help to make sure that your elderly family member is socializing, getting where she needs to go, eating well, and following the rest of her regular routine. And that’s all possible while you’re doing what you need to do at work, too.

 

Take Time Away from Work, if Possible

It’s not always feasible, of course, but if you can, you might want to consider taking a break from work in order to get your elderly family member’s situation stable at home. Then, when you’ve got a smooth system in place for your elderly family member, you can step right back into your career again.

Usually, there is a solution for any issue you’re having with balancing work with caregiving, but you might have to get a little creative.

 

If you or an aging family member are considering home care services in Brookhaven, GA, please contact the caring staff at Caring Companions of Atlanta 470-514-5954.