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The Reality VS. the Expectation of Getting a (great) Caregiver: The Care Giving Conundrum

This is the first in a series of posts that will define the reality of care giving vs the expectations most families have as they enter the care giving journey. We will also offer tips on how to make that journey successful.

Part One: The Great Care Giving Conundrum.

OK, seems simple enough. Mom or dad finally drops his or her resistance and decides to try a caregiver. All I have to do is call a home care company and tell them to have a caregiver here tomorrow. Well, yes and no. If all you want is a warm body and it does not matter if it is the same body day-to-day, you can likely find a company that can deliver.

The truth is, finding a great caregiver is a process and not a light switch you just flip on.

Understand the Great Care Giving Conundrum.

The conundrum is a simple, yet very unbalanced equation. People in need of assistance usually wait as long as they can before getting it…and, when they do, they want as little help as possible. On the other side of the equation, most caregivers want to work as many hours as they can.

It makes sense…for the person in need, it represents them starting to lose their independence. It also means dipping into the ever-cherished bank account.  I don’t know about you, but neither of those appeals to me very much! Often times, their ask is driven more by family hounding them to get help rather than their perceived need. So, they ask for a little help. Keeps it easy to stomach and affordable.

Back to the caregivers…as a whole, caregivers are largely underpaid (not because home care companies don’t want to pay them well, but the market sets the price).  Plus, they have families to take care of.  They don’t just want lots of hours, they NEED lots of hours to pay the rent and put food on the table.

The Request.

So, when the inevitable request comes in from a  family for two four-hour shifts a week, we normally have to politely explain that the odds of us finding a great caregiver that wants that kind of work is very slim. They (the family) are not at fault for asking…how would they know!? Seems like a reasonable request. The truth is, however, even if we could find a caregiver that agreed to work mini-shifts like that, the likelihood of them sticking around and being reliable is very low. It’s not that they are bad people…they just will leave when an assignment with more hours comes up. Food on the table.

So, they key learning here is as follows:

  • Be aware of the conundrum when you engineer you request to a home care company. Almost all of us got in this business because we love to help people. But we cannot help if we are not set up to succeed
  • Know that should short, infrequent shifts be the “ask,” you might have trouble finding a home care company that will accept your business. If one does , the body they deliver will likely be different shift-to-shift

Next up…the fallacy that no one can care for mom or dad as well as you can.

Happy reading!

Adam

 

 

 

How Can You Deal with Constantly Worrying about Your Aging Family Member?

As a family caregiver, it’s not feasible to simply tell yourself not to worry about your senior family member. What you can do, however, is to accept the worry for what it is, let it go, and come up with solutions that will actually help.

 

Elder Care in Decatur GA: Caregiver Worry
Elder Care in Decatur GA: Caregiver Worry

 

 

Examine Your Worries Closely

Most of the time when you are worried about something, you’re more likely to try to ignore the concern and not think about it. But when you tell yourself not to think about something, that becomes one of your most prevalent thoughts. Instead, try taking that worry and really looking at it closely. Figure out what is causing this worry and why it’s such a big concern for you. Don’t let it go for a long time.

 

Stop Berating Yourself for Being Worried

Giving up a big worry is really difficult to do. If you keep telling yourself to stop and that you really shouldn’t be worried, you’re going to feel guilty every time that you run into that worry again. Since you’re trying to resolve this concern, beating yourself up over it is not going to help. Resolve now to accept this worry and that you’re going to find a solution.

 

Find Ways to Let Go of Your Worries

There’s a funny truth about worry. When you look closely at it and stop trying to ignore it, you might find that it resolves on its own. Even if it doesn’t, there are things you can do that will help. The next time that you encounter this worry, remind yourself that a solution is in the works.

 

Do What You Can Now to Eliminate Causes of Worry

Sit down and make a list of what possible solutions can resolve the situation creating your concern. For example, if you’re worried because your senior still lives alone, brainstorm what could potentially make you feel less concerned. This might include having family members stopping by more often, hiring elderly care providers, or talking to your elderly family member about changing her living situation.

Worrying doesn’t do you any good, but you already know that. What it can do is show you where you need to take steps in order to keep your elderly family member as safe as possible.

 

If you or an aging family member are considering elder care in Decatur, GA, please contact the caring staff at Caring Companions of Atlanta 470-514-5954.